The 25 Funniest Analogies

(Supposedly Collected by High School English Teachers).

These are really funny and you will burst out laughing (so don't read this if you are in a meeting or any other place that can get you into trouble. It is rated G so you can share if you do get into a predicament!

I just don't get # 19. My Fav's; 9, 12, & 5 in that order :) Enjoy!

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.

6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.

8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegrated because of his wife’s infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t.

10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you’re on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.

12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.

13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan’s teeth.

16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long it had rusted shut.

19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.

20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.

21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Wow...

That is all I could think when I saw this. Detention for being RIGHT?.

The arrogance of this teacher!. This guy had the nerve to say the student will be “better of simply accepting his teaching with out resistance”.

If you are wrong, you are WRONG. It doesn’t matter if you are being corrected by your student or a four year old. Granted, the teacher was embarrassed in front of his class. But by detaining the kid, he has insulted the entire profession of teaching.

If I were in his place, I would have corrected the wrong information I gave the student, apologized for the mistake, and commend the student for correcting the error. This course of action would create more respect for the teacher and give confidence to the students to speak up.

There are educators that genuinely want to teach and make a difference in a kid’s life; those who marvel in bright students that challenge them and further better themselves. And then there are others, to whom teaching is nothing but a union protected job and do not care about the students. I am so glad I went to school in India. I’ve come across so man great teachers but never realized their excellence. I wish I could go back and thank them individually for their contributions to society. Sad part is, I do not remember a single name but only faces; faces that are fading from my memories fast.

This is an eye opener for me. Now that I am about to have a baby, I can start thinking about things that will better her life when she is all grown up. May be pictures of her teachers with names are worth holding on to.

Wal-Mart – Bad for the America, good for Senator Edwards?

While I was driving around in Atlanta, the most talked about news story of the day was about the limited number of PS3 at Wal-Mart and people getting mugged and shot for this unit. As a non-video game player, I really don’t care much about these stories. And I do think people willing go to these lengths do not have their priorities straight. It is no contest that PS3 is very advanced and came a long way from its predecessors, but it is still a video game. $400 dollars for a unit that only provides one mode of entertainment in not worth standing in line out side a Wal-Mart over night, especially there is only ten unit at that store. Kids don’t need another video game, they are too fat. Adults do not need a video game; grow up, get a degree, get a job, buy a house, invest, read a book, take your kids to the playground. This thing is not worth getting shot at.

That brings me to the hypocrite of the day. Some liberal have made a career out of campaigning against non-union labored Wal-mart. Union memberships have been steadily declining since their peak in 1945 and a place like Wal-Mart that employs 1.2 million is an easy target. A group called Wake Up Wal-Mart is demanding the company provide better pay and more health care for its employees. They would love to see the company run to the ground. They did that to all other places they’ve touched. Union labor is nothing but mediocre and have never proved to improve quality of any product. As a matter of fact, unions prevent a company from progression. Just Compare Toyota & GM. Or consider mass transit authorities or airlines. Senator Edwards jumped on the “Hate the corporation” bandwagon with many other liberals. After selling all his stocks on Wal-Mart before the 2004 presidential election Edwards turned against Wal-Mart. However, Mr. Edwards don’t have time to stand in line like the rest of the middle America so he sends one of his staff to get one for him, from a Wal-Mart that is bad for America!

I hate crooked lawyers, I Hate politicians. Edwards is both!

On the lighter side. If you missed the original release of PS3, you can get one from ebay for $20,000,000.00. Now that is what I call a smart buy!.

December 30 it is ...

We had a doctor’s appointment today. We finalized that the mode of delivery will be C-section. And it is tentatively scheduled for December 30th.

December 30 is special to Tracie. It is her late younger sister Kindall’s birthday. It would be great if our daughter have the same birthday as Kindall’s. (No Cookie, her name ain’t gonna be Kindall!)

The doctor told Tracie to stop working and stay home starting December 1st. Tracie is excited that she gets to stay home. Although, her employer is starting to panic. We originally thought she could work until the 15th but the doctor advised against that. Now that the time has been cut short two weeks, they have to kick it up notch and find a replacement in

I have updated the count down timer to the new date... but everything depends on His will. This reminds me of the bible verse:

“The LORD bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: he maketh the devices of the people of none effect.” (Psalm 33:10 )

Keep us in your prays y’all :)

World's Smallest Political Quiz

My score makes me a CONSERVATIVE. What a surprise huh?.

The questions are right to the point, but assume that you have done your homework and know where you stand.

Click on the image to take the quiz & Have Fun!.

Worth a second look

Message to "A Great American!".. I thought the cartoon was pretty funny, poking fun at both liberal (Pinko Liberal, Globalist Wuss) and conservative (Religious Zealot, War Monger). It is very likely that the cartoonist is a liberal, but the purpose of the post was to remind some 10 or so folks who view my flog to go out there and vote.. Trust me, that was the best one that I could find that came close to being neutral.

Where I stand is more towards right and for what is right. I do not call my self a republican, rather a conservative (How dare you call me a liberal!; don't you know you have just insulted me) :) But political, social, or economical issues on fotolog won’t generate much interest, so I stay away from it. I occasionally rant here about things that tickle my brain. Check out the links on the right to see what I read.

As far as reading books, it gives me indigestion most of the time unless I am researching some topics that help me to do something. I don’t read for fun (I know, I am among the minority). I started reading Ann Coulter’s “How to Talk to a Liberal…” about a year ago.. I am half way there.. reading just don’t do it for me.. if you read, more power to ya!.

I hope you got your answer; check out my blog once in a while. If I know more people read my rant, it might drive me to rant more :)